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FAQ About Therapeutic Disclosure for Sex Addiction, Porn Addiction, Infidelity, or Betrayal Trauma

Jenna Paulsen
Couples, Betrayed, Secret, Honest

How much detail should therapeutic disclosure include? 

Details should include: 

When should therapeutic disclosure happen? 

Typically within three to six months after the beginning of treatment is when therapeutic disclosure occurs between couples. This may seem like a long time to wait for disclosure to happen, especially for the betrayed partner. However, rushing disclosure is very harmful. The partner in recovery must build a strong foundation of honesty, accountability, and support before he or she can be successful during disclosure. This process is slower than most partners want, but necessary to prevent further harm.

What is the purpose of disclosure?

Facilitated full disclosure gives the betrayed partner an opportunity to know what they need to know in order to make a choice about the relationship, rather than being manipulated into staying. It also gives the betrayer an opportunity to put an end to his or her double life – which is scary before it’s done, but brings immense relief after it’s done.

What is a staggered disclosure?

When the betrayed partner receives repeated and incomplete information about the betrayer’s actions, either directly or indirectly. 

What are the benefits of disclosure in betrayal trauma therapy? 

What are the risks of disclosure in betrayal trauma therapy? 

What are the steps in telling the truth? 

This acronym may be helpful: ACT. 

Awareness: Betrayed partner is given information about the other partner’s sexual behaviors. 

Coming clean: Betraying partner has a chance to give full disclosure of the sexual behaviors they have engaged in. 

Truth: Bringing in truth is the best chance at building the relationship upon restored trust. 

What type of mental health professionals use therapeutic disclosure for betrayal trauma? 

For best results, therapeutic disclosure should be facilitated by therapists trained by the International Institute of Trauma and Addiction Professionals (IITAP), with any of the following specialties:

What types of betrayal trauma are there? 

What is the healing process after betrayal trauma?

Why would anyone want a therapeutic full disclosure? 

Both parties have been surveyed, and research tells us that it was the right course of action to take after going through the disclosure process. 96% of betrayers and 93% of betrayed partners felt that it was in their best interest. 

What is disclosure? 

The other partner can see the truth transparently and fully. All of the facts are laid out on the table. 

When it comes to partner abuse, what other forms of betrayal are there? 

If there is one form of abuse occurring, the chances increase that other forms are also occurring. These may be any combination of: 

Can you get closure after no longer being in the relationship with the betrayer? 

Yes, you can. Grief and forgiveness are both messy, painful, and necessary in order to achieve closure. Some who have experienced betrayal also benefit from writing and sharing their testimony or survivor story.

How accurate are lie detector tests? Are they helpful in the healing process with disclosure? 

There is about an 80% rate of accuracy in polygraph testing. – at least, according to polygraph examiners. Polygraphs are very controversial. In theory, they detect lying because lying causes a physiological disturbance of some kind. However, false positives for lying are common because strong emotions of any sort cause the same physiological disturbances that may indicate lying. It may be very unreasonable to expect a betrayer to be able to remain completely emotionally calm while taking a polygraph. Most US states do not allow evidence from polygraph examinations to be used in court for criminal proceedings.

What are some boundaries to follow while you or your partner is in recovery?

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